A collection of thoughts

Today I have alot on my mind, so here are a few of the subjects that have been coming up for me.
Trust: It keeps coming up like a little self-imposed sprinkle of pixie dust that gets in my nose and makes me sneeze. Feels good to release pressure but sure can have catastrophic results when the choice to trust or not to trust is the wrong one! Is constantly questioning people and circumstances merely a system of checks and balances to keep us on the right track in order to avoid the blindsided feeling of our trust being betrayed?
Moving On: Using the term wily-nily as is often the case makes me uncomfortable as it implies forward linear movement away from something undesirable. Does the 'mover' do their 'moving on' with little regard for those left behind who have not 'moved on' in the same direction?
Love: You're probably thinking "What?" So am I. Assuming that everything we already know about it is true (We are love, created by love, in order to be love) and knowing that when we feel it there is no denying it, why do we trip up so much trying to define it to ourselves and others? If we are just BE-ing love, can't everyone just tell? If they can't, is it about the loved or the lover? With all those rule books, therapists, and talk shows, shouldn't we all be experts?
Death: Only one thing to say about it today. When I am the creator of worlds, nobody dies.
We just move on.
Kids: Pandora's box. move on. JK! I love you ALL!
Travel: First an aside. I realized just now I am starting to sound like a Seinfeld re-run, and I am not now nor have I ever been that big a fan. OK, so one of my boys has a little itty-bitty sarcastic streak laced through his humerous, but always makes me laugh, so what's the harm?
Back to Travel: I LOVE it. Mostly because my travel companion the last 5 years has been my darling husband and he has a knack of seeing the best in all places, people, and circumstances. He reserves judgement, he observes everything, is afraid of nothing, and never gets lost. Except for once in Colorado. He lets me be the happy wanderer and says nothing when I haven't had an opportunity to 'freshen up'. He volunteers to carry my baggage (and believe me, there has been alot, but I am fast learning to travel light!) and I send buckets of admiration to whomever invented backpacks! Very recently we visited Europe, some pics are below, more to follow.
Television: I know we can do better.
And finally Thank You's: Thanks to all my family for raising the bar. I promise to always reach for it. Thank you Heather for the thoughts, prayers, and assistance in my work search. Thanks mom for my life. Thank you Christy for inspiring me to blog.
Thank you notes: It's a beautiful day. This morning on my daily constitutional the moon was up in the western sky, with a few stars still visible. It reminded me of all my friends. I know you are all out there but I just can't see you right now. I do know you are shining wherever you are!

Forgiveness

Several months ago as I was speaking to a friend about forgiveness I felt something inside of me shift and remembered something my spirit knew already. We (people) are all about forgiving others at whatever level necessary in order to free ourselves from the ties or hooks that they have in us as long as we haven't forgiven. In addition to that, do we really want to be sending negative thoughts about that person out? It has been proven to be damaging to their overall health (proven in an experiment and labeled as the voodoo effect), to our own health, and even that of others who just feel it (negative, low energy) when they're in our presence. But what I really got in touch with is how it is so important to remember who we are dealing with first and that is our self. Even forgiving myself is an ongoing process. I go through a day and make choices - some of which work and some of which don't. When I make a choice and experience painful results I hold myself accountable and responsible. Sometimes I keep the energy within me of "What was I thinking?!" "How could I have said/done something so (fill in the blank)?!" Then I am still asking the universe to send it around again for me to figure out whatever it was I was thinking, saying, or doing when I SHOULD have by all rights known better. Of course an opportunity will present itself in order for me to learn to make a different choice. Instead of setting that up so carefully, what if I just say something like "it is done and I forgive myself. I am now free from that cycle." Not sure, but perhaps it's the key to whole new experiences.

Car Theft

Date: Sept. 11, 2008
T'ime: Somewhere between the hours of 6:15 - 8:30 p.m.
Event: Snowy Mountain Research & Recovery "patrols" parking area of Art Space Apartments, looking for vehicles not displaying a permit to park. Spies my beautiful little red maxima innocently parked in my daughter's personal parking spot that she pays extra for and granted me permission to leave my car there (as I had already been in a 2 hour space on the street for 1 1/2 hours) whilst we went around the corner for chinese food. Without any warning to the lessor of said space, or checking with dispatch to alert the lessor of said space, they quickly as possible (before anyone has time to respond, thus cheating them out of their $240.00 fee to return the vehicle) hitch 'er up and off they go to a very dark and scary lot that is "protected" with loops of rusted barb wire atop an 8' metal fence next to the railroad tracks where we waited a full thirty minutes for an endlessly long train to pass by going slower than mud uphill in order to gain access only to wait another 20 minutes on a dead-end road with a sleeping child in the car for a driver to appear. The driver who is employed by the towing company accepted the fee, wrote out a receipt, and waited until we were preparing to drive off before remembering that there is a tenant discount of $20.00 that he returned and re-wrote our receipt. While we were happy to receive something back, it still came at a cost of $220.00 to reclaim MY vehicle from nothing more than theives who seek to profit rather than serve the public. As the driver explained: "If we wait for a call from someone whose space has been taken, 9 times out of ten by the time we get there, the car is gone. That is why we patrol." If Evergreen Management (property managers of Apartment Building) were seeking to protect the best interest of the tenants then would they not check with their tenants before they authorize vultures to swoop in for gain? Would they not install an entry gate with a code known only to tenants in order to keep unauthorized vehicles out of their lot? Would they not seek to work with and not against their tenants? Would they not seek to employ a host of other services desperately needed in order to maintain and keep their building and grounds safe, clean, and in good repair for their tenants? Although the driver disclaimed any of the fees going back to the property management company, why then allow a third party private company access to private property to enforce parking rules for tenants who have repeatedly requested that management cease and desist this practice? The city of Salt Lake only issues parking tickets for $15-20 and then gives drivers 10 days to pay. Who is looking the other way when owners of towing companies seem to have finagled a way to exploit and extort money from the public they should be serving? They tacked on a $48.00 fuel surcharge. The distance towed was under 4 miles. Who gives them the right to steal first your car, then your trust, then your means to survive?